Carpe Diem

Three

3 days to go to my 27th birthday.
3 more years till I reach the big 30.
How do I feel?
Like I haven't achieved much in my life.
What am I gonna do about it?
Probably nothing.

I made a list though, a list of things to do in order to straighten out certain areas in my life.

1. Become a better Muslim.
2. Kill the lazy demon, rise the hard-working phoenix.
3. Take control, control, control!
4. SAVE!
5. Family 1st...

Since there's a lot more I could add on, I guess I eventually will, in time.

Lost, dazed & confused

I don't know why. Why I have been feeling this way. Lately I have been having this awkward, dazed & confused feeling gradually building up inside me. It stems from my loss of confidence in my ability to teach. I don't know why. I have this stupid feeling that I am not good enough to be a teacher and unable to cope with the highly demanding pressures of teaching. Am I being too hard on myself? Perhaps. Do I want to teach my entire life? Perhaps not. As for now, I am hoping and praying for the kind of job where I feel satisfied with my performance, where I can say to myself, "Good job, Ina!" (imaginary pat on my back). But that's all but wishful thinking...

Today, was the beginning of the TCP at ELS Kuala Lumpur and it was nice to see those friendly faces I had left a few months ago. However, the moment I stepped into Room 11, I felt another sombre cloud dwell over me. Once again I felt that all those four years of TESL had officially gone down the drain. Everything was so foreign, somewhat alien-like. I was unable to lead my group & made several blundering mistakes which I know I wasn't supposed to do. To sum it up, today I felt like crap! Thank God at the beginning and the end of the day I had Ridza by my side. I think that was entire highlight of my day & that's what I will continue to look forward to. Thank you, sayang. You truly turn my rainy days into those 'Sesame Street' //Sunny Days...chasing all the clouds away...//...

Tomorrow will be another day of mock teaching & blundering. I hope all this effort is worth the RM 4  pay hike that I so desperately need. Wish me luck. I really need it :)

Sunburst Music Festival 2008

Music lovers out there!
Can you believe it!
The next big thing is happening next month!
CEMAS!!
Check it out y'all!

See y'all there! Need I say more huhuhuhuhu!

Heath Ledger: Gone too young, too soon

I remember the first time I saw Heath Ledger. It was magical. You know those crushes you have on movie stars? Well, it was one of those things. I immediately fell in love with his dashing, charming character of Patrick Verona who becomes the love interest of Kat Stratford played by Julia Stiles. Of all the lines in the movie, I loved this one the most:

I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair.
I hate the way you drive my car.

I hate it when you stare.

I hate your big dumb combat boots, and the way you read my mind.

I hate you so much it makes me sick; it even makes me rhyme.
I hate it, I hate the way you're always right.

I hate it when you lie.

I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry.

I hate it when you're not around, and the fact that you didn't call.

But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you.

Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.

 - 10 Things I Hate About You -

I saw him again in 'The Patriot', 'The Four Feathers' and 'Monster's Ball'. I was really looking forward to his portrayal of the Joker in 'The Dark Knight', but now that all seems...I don't know...

On 22 January 2008, Heath Ledger passed away from an apparent prescription drug overdose.He was 28, just two years older than me. I was in the office when Jack told everyone in the staffroom that he had died. Everyone was shocked. I couldn't believe it. I remember Jes sharing the same admiration of Heath as I did. He was my teenage heartthrob. He was our teenage heartthrob. As the world mourns and wonders why, all I can think of are all those young stars who have passed: James Dean, Marilyn Monroe, River Phoenix, Brad Renfro ('Sleepers', 'The Client')...

They say only the good die young but I now I ask myself, why did it have to be Heath. Although I never knew him, I feel like he left us too early. I wished he hadn't died so young. I wish it wasn't true. Going through all the news on the net about him & watching footages of him when he was alive really makes me sad. Having experienced a sudden death in the family makes me really wonder why people have to die so young. Somehow it seems alright if someone passes away when they are old but somehow it just feels wrong when they die young. It's kinda weird that as time passes by and I get older that I feel my life on earth is numbered. I don't have much time left and neither do other people. As I put my high school maths to work I estimate that I will have approximately 40 years on this earth. Limited. Sigh.

May God bless your soul...

 

Armin Senk 5th May 1976 - 12th November 2007

We just laid Armin to rest in the Muslim cemetery in Section 21 Shah Alam at approx. 2 p.m.. It was a cloudy & windy day...just nice. When we placed him in the ground there was a sigh of relief. Finally, he is with God and I pray that God will take care of him in heaven. Before bringing him to the the cemetery, he was brought to the house where everyone could view him for the last time. My mother kissed his forehead as tears ran down her cheeks. Then it was my turn. I was careful not to have any of my sweat or tears fall upon him. So, as I leaned forward to kiss his forehead I felt his coldness touch my lips. Then, I realized...he was really gone. He looked like he was sleeping. He looked like when he was a baby...so innocent...so pure...He had a smile on his face...that was nice to see. He looked so peaceful, as if all the worries had been taken away from him. He looked so free. When I saw his slight smile I was relieved, even slightly happy. Now, he is with God. Now, he is free...

Regarding his accident...he was walking in a hypermarket when he lost his balance and fell down a flight of stairs. I am still not sure how it happened. He died of internal injuries which would have been detected if the doctors had found it earlier. Ironically, instead of checking the other parts of the body they instead examined the head and he passed away while they were doing the CT scan. What had happened was that when he fell, his rib punctured his liver and internal bleeding occured. He would have been alive if the doctors and paramedics had worked faster and more effectively.

May Allah SWT have mercy on his soul...Amen

Beware the Wolf in Sheep's Clothing

nurin

luminous

light

 

 

When I first heard that they found a little girl’s body in a gym bag, all I could think was: This can’t be happening again… Not another girl, dead. Not another girl, suffering. Not another. When more news of the case appeared in the media, things became more graphic. She was sexually assaulted in ways unimaginable. I can’t even bear to think about it, let alone write it here. All I could think about was how much she had suffered and endured. She went missing in August and in that span of one month I imagine she went through the most indescribable pain ever, both physically and emotionally. And now she’s dead.

    As Malaysia mourns for another innocent child’s life snatched away, we have to think back on how this all could have been prevented. The initial blame is always on the parents and blame them I do, too. In these life and times, where people are anything but kind and innocent, we now live in a world where there are those who walk in sheep’s clothing. We cannot afford to trust anyone. With all these sexual crimes happening everyday, it is beneficial that everyone take important measures to protect themselves from these despicable sexual predators. One crucial way of protecting your loved ones from being a victim of sexual crimes is by educating your loved ones, especially children and women about the danger that lurks everywhere.

Education starts at home, that’s what I always believe. It is important that young children be made aware of what is acceptable and unacceptable touching. At times we may think, ‘They’re too little to understand!’, but you’d be surprised how much children can learn to understand and accept if they are just given a chance. Of course, there are ways to make such information suitable and understood by young children. Picture books such as Sandy Kleven’s "The Right Touch: A Read-Aloud Story to Help Prevent Child Sexual Abuse" and illustrated by Jody Bergsma help children as young as three years old understand what is appropriate touching and what is not. Other than that, adults should listen and believe children if they complain about being touched in a way that made them uncomfortable, instead of just brushing it off as a lie or figment of their imagination. Give the child a chance.

    Children should not be allowed to be left wandering alone in public areas or to be given errands to run (e.g. going to the shop nearby to buy some groceries) by parents just because they are too lazy to go themselves. It is not the child’s job to do this. I guess the rational of parents is to make the child more responsible but to what extend? Until another child is lost?

    Children should never talk to strangers and should be taught not to be enticed by gifts offered by strangers. They should be taught to be brave enough to say, “NO!” and walk or run away from the stranger if they must. Children should know their telephone number and home address by heart and call home in case of an emergency. However, they should be reminded that they should not disclose this information to people they don’t know. We should all teach children to practice caution at all times.

    I guess I have repeated all the things that people have said before but still treacherous things happen. The next time you see a child crying alone in a shopping mall make a point to CARE! Look around, if you don’t see the parents nearby, just stop a moment and stay around until the parents can be found. Please start caring. An innocent child could be spared.

Before I go I would like to  remind you all that  there are others out  there who  suffered and continue to suffer everyday. This  serves  as a reminder to us to step up  and make a difference. YOU CAN SAVE THEM!

 

Michael Jackson's 'Little Suzie'

Somebody killed Little Suzie
The girl with the tune
Who sings in the daytime at noon
She was there screaming
Beating her voice in her doom
But nobody came to her soon

A fall down the stairs
Her dress torn
Oh, the blood in her hair
A mystery so sullen in air
She lie there so tenderly
Fashioned so slenderly
Lift her with care,
Oh, the blood in her hair

Everyone came to see
The girl that now is dead
So blind stare the eyes in her head
And suddenly a voice from the crowd said
This girl lived in vain
Her face bear such agony, such strain
But only the man from next door
Knew Little Susie and how he cried
As he reached down
To close Susie's eyes
She lie there so tenderly
Fashioned so slenderly
Lift her with care
Oh, the blood in her hair

It was all for God's sake
For her singing the tune
For someone to feel her dispair
To be damned to know hoping is dead
And you're doomed
Then to scream out
And nobody's there

She knew no one cared

Father left home
Poor mother died
Leaving Susie alone
Grandfather's soul too had flown
No one to care
Just to love her
How much can one bear
Neglecting the needs in her prayers

Neglection can kill
Like a knife in your soul
Oh, it will
Little Susie fought so hard to live
She lie there so tenderly
Fashioned so slenderly
Lift her with care
So young and so fair

 

 

It's been a long time but still I remember

How long has it been since I last stepped foot into the mosque?  Almost too long...Sigh...Last night was a historical moment for me: Tarawih prayers. I don't think I have ever prayed on the 1st night of Tarawih prayers. This is definately something good...heheh...If before I felt uncomfortable and afraid, now I feel a sense of belonging...security...a feeling that something good is heading my way, a step in the right direction. It felt good to pray beside my mom once more. This time she didn't scold me for not knowing what to do next. This time she guided me and gently told me what to do, what to pray. I love you, Mommy. :) As I followed in prayer all I thought was how wonderful it was to be close to Allah again. If in the past I had stayed away from Him, it is now that I want to embrace Him. I have decided that I will try to work hard in becoming a better person and a better Muslim. There is still so much that I don't know. So much that I have yet to learn. And time is a envious foe bringing you closer to inevitable....the dark rider who's sole purpose is to remove you from this world, so beautiful. I want to live long enough to see my kids grow before me and grow old with my soulmate... InsyaAllah

Ich bin nicht mehr arbeitslos!

It's been roughly a month now since I started work at a language centre in Subang Jaya & I am having a blast! I never thought that I'd have the confidence to teach International students but somehow I am gradually gaining more and more confidence. I must admit though, there were some hiccups here and there but I managed to iron things out. However, I am still struggling with teaching beginner conversation because the students are young and have close to zero prior knowledge. I am still wrecking my brain about how to catch their attention. It's been tough but I believe that eventually things will work itself out. I hope so.

Thank Allah Almighty...

Freaky Day Indeed

Almost fainted at the clinic today. The doc called me into the room to help him with a patient. Never did I think it had anything to do with an overgrown zit. So, there I was, gloves on, and holding the gauze for the doc. Next thing I knew he took a syringe and started poking at the patients overgrown, infected zit. At first I didn't think anything of the procedure until the doc started poking, poking and poking the poor guy's face. Then came the blood. Slowly it trickled down the poor boys face. The boy now in agony, but trying his best not to shout, clenched  his fist in agony. I am but the innocent bystander I thought, and then all of the sudden I felt light headed. Bloody hell! I am not gonna faint, I told myself, so I breathed slowly, in and out. Damn it! Get a grip woman! It's not like you've never seen blood before.
The young man is groaning. The doc is still poking th f***ing syringe into the swollen mass. When will it end?!Arghhhh! More blood oozing from the incision. Bloody hell, stop pinching that abnormality on his face!It finally popped! Tiny blood splats all over the doc's shirt. Thank God I was out of the line of fire! More blood...

I met a man with an extra finger on his right hand. Did it freak me out? Surprisingly no. I thought it was cool.

Procrastinator Extraordinaire

"Procrastination is the thief of time but I do it anyway"

- Ina Senk-

So, it's become a trend now that my time management has gone haywire. I blame myself completely! Serve me right, but you know what? I'm happy that I enjoyed my days procrastinating!! LOL

Anyway, I just wanna share this poem written to me by this extremely talented fella from SFI. Although I never taught him, I still think he's a hell of a funny fella!!

The floor is all yours Spidergus:

Miss Marina likes to procrastinate,

that's why her work is always late,

but she doesn't procrastinate in getting a mate,

'cause she doesn't make him wait,

I think she believes it's fate,

and that's miss marina's story

she procrastinates..."

-Augustin, 15 years old-

For all those who'd like to submit their poems to me please do! I love to hear from talent!